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“Theodore Carter is a silly leaping gnome who dates zombies, practices voodoo, and walks on water, at least when not giggling while making you left-handed, or burning your eyebrows off. Think Roald Dahl as rewired by T.C. Boyle. This first collection of stories is a genre-bending mutant’s bible of gross-out jokes and yucks. You will love it.”

—Richard Peabody, editor, Gargoyle Magazine


“Expect the unexpected—and to laugh out loud—when reading Theodore Carter’s delightful and  original collection of stories, The Life Story of a Chilean Sea Blob and Other Matters of Importance. Not that it’s all laughs; despite their quirkiness, his characters are entirely human, facing their fears around coming of age, settling down, spending life alone, being unloved, or just plain growing old—n short, matters of importance to us all.”

—Susi Wyss, author of The Civilized World

“We need the fantasies that imaginative fiction gives us to counter the cold truisms that often pass for factual reality. We need modern-day dinosaur sightings, sea monsters, zombies, voodoo dolls, and the occasional upchucked panther for disbelieving therapists. We need these things, this collection suggests, and Carter delivers them to us.”

A capella Zoo

“Carter's imagination gives us a holy mess of plots that defy the logic of disbelievers. Something grandiose happens in each story, grandiose and peculiar.”

—Zachary Benavidez, editor, Potomac Review

The Life and Times of a Chilean Sea Blob

And Other Matters of Importance


Theodore Carter

“. . . it contains almost a hundred pages of nonsense, some of which is amusing. This is the highest praise I am going to give this book, as I'm seriously slightly annoyed that my bit isn't in it, but I'll give it five stars because thankfully less than thirty percent of the articles in this book are about puppetry.”

-David Thorne, author of That’s Not How You Wash a Squirrel


"In a time when we need real heroes more than ever, Christopher L. Jorgensen arrives to save us all. And I don't care if he masturbates in his kitchen or not—this is not a time to be picky."

- Dave Hill, author of Tasteful Nudes-

“Jorgensen is the master of yanking corporate American’s chain.”

-Joel Postman, author of SocialCorp

Jackass Letters

Archive Volume 2


Christopher L. Jorgensen

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