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"They say don't meet your heroes. I've decided to make Paul's son my hero so I won't feel obliged to meet him. That kid is trouble! The way I see it, reading this book is way more enjoyable than having a kid. So, the choice is yours."

- Mike Gandolfi, Actor and Emmy-winning comedy writer

“. . . full of laughs and giggles and any parent will take a trip back in time to the horrifying actions of their own children–second-hand chewing gum; food landing on the floor; fights in the play park; attacks on household pets; yes, it all comes back with alarming clarity.”

- Lucinda E. Clarke, Readers’ Favorites

"A humorous commentary on life about a child from newborn (preemie in Alexander’s case) through age five. People at any stage of parenthood will be able to relate and enjoy the entertaining thoughts and actions from Paul Alexander. A page-turner from a comedian that will have you comparing your own experiences and relating to the good and not-so-good times of parenthood."

— Rachel Dehning, Seattle Book Review

A memoir on parenting from stand-up comedian and humorist Paul Alexander

From pithy tweet-sized observations to hilarious heart-wrenching essays , Paul Alexander brings a fresh, honest, and edgy look to the world of parenthood. If David Sedaris and Tina Fey had a love child, this book would be it. Brutal, blunt and bombastic, Alexander uses his sharp wit to bring out the best things about being a brand new dad, even when he's failing miserably at it.

— Brent Piaskoski, TV Producer and Creator

Our Baby Was Born Premature

(the same way he was conceived)


Paul Alexander

In this uniquely conceived memoir, author and comedian Paul Alexander offers up fresh insights into the perils and joys of parenthood, ranging from amusing to hilarious to keenly observant to chaotically insightful.  

Indiebound Barnes&Noble Preorder it Now Amazon
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Stealing The Scream


Theodore Carter

Indiebound Barnes&Noble Preorder it Now

In 2004, masked thieves stole Edvard Munch's "The Scream" from an Oslo museum. STEALING THE SCREAM is a literary leaning, humor-laced crime novel that re-imagines the event, offering a tantalizing account of what happened through fictional characters and ending with a tense climax and a satisfying if unexpected ending to the art-world mystery.


“Theodore Carter’s ingenious reinvention of the actual theft of Edvard Munch’s The Scream is a compelling and provocative exploration of the seductive power of art, the arrogance of wealth, the danger of misplaced loyalty, and the relationships between a work of art and its audience.”

- Eric Kraft, author of Reservations Recommended

“Carter is a witty, savvy writer and he keeps this tale humming right up until its brilliant denouement.”

- Corey Mesler, author Memphis Movie and Camel’s Bastard Son

“Theodore Carter’s crime novel, Stealing the Scream, creates a what-if scenario that outshines all others . . . an intense mystery with multiple plot tangents and varying scenarios.”

- Emily Jane Hills Orford, Readers’ Favorite

Crime fiction with a literary bent and a faintly exposed funny bone

re-imagines and re-tells a real art-world mystery

Listen to Theodore Carter talk about his art-heist crime novel, Stealing The Scream.

“This is an amazing tale of a most complicated man and his strange journey in the world of art. Highly recom-mended for anyone wanting to read something different, captivating, amusing and well-worth the time spent.”

- Marilyn Meredith, author of the Deputy Temple Crabtree mystery series

“A stylish, speculative heist thriller riffing off an infamous true caper and steeped in creative craftsmanship, Stealing the Scream is the literary equivalent of a crisp, dry Martini garnished with not one but several tantalizing twists. The result is an intoxicating recipe whose standard genre ingredients—mystery, romance, history, suspense, drama, humor—are uniquely blended into a concoction that is both potent and poetic.”

- Will Viharo, author of The Thrillville Pulp Fiction Collection and the Vic Valentine, Private Eye series

“Stealing the Scream goes beyond the whodunit to the howdunnit, and then further still: a proper whydunnit.  The motives, in the end, are fascinating.  Here are people who don’t like themselves enough, people who feel they haven’t realized their own potential.  People who haven’t yet painted their masterpieces.  Carter commits them all to canvas in a vivid, entertaining swirl of comedy and tragedy.”

- Ben Rogers, author of The Flamer

“It’s about talent and ambition and self-sabotage. It’s about international crime connections and capers so crazy they just might almost work. Read it yourself. I bet you a box of frozen burritos you’ll be convinced—or at least thoroughly entertained.”

Neil Ellis Orts, author of Cary and John

“Alexander’s book is a beautifully crafted reminder that the great over-arching narrative of parenthood is actually a collection of individual moments. Our Baby Was Born Premature is filled with the everyday moments of joy, frustration, wonder, self-doubt, triumph and pure, unconditional love that every parent experiences recounted with wit, charm and affection.”

- Rob Nickerson, Managing Director, robnickersonimprov.com

“Alexander’s “memoir” is absolutely unique. It is skillfully delivered in short, humorous vignettes with punch lines you can never predict and an authenticity that anyone who has ever birthed and raised a child of either sex -- premature or full-term -- will immediately appreciate.  If you need a gift for parents -- or grandparents -- of any age, send them the hardcover edition of this gem.”

- Don Sloan, Publishers Daily Reviews

"Paul has a poet's gift for packing big truths into short punches. If this book can entertain and move a childless grump like me, you know it's something special."

- Rian Johnson, Writer, Director of Looper, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Knives Out